THE ALTER EGO

alright- well this obviously not a diet blog. like it ever would have been. i am terrible at that crap.

i am here to rant about my dilema this evening. i wanted to get hammered this weekend because i am extremely stressed out 90% of the time. i don't really get a break from class or work; most of my free time is spent reading. this irritates me. and the one weekend i have i want to go out and drink. it is what college students do. i also want to watch the meteor showe. i have an opportunity to go out to the desert and watch the shower, where no city lights will disrupt the sky, or i can stay in town and drink. i originally had been planning on drinking in the desert, but the house we were going to stay at will now be occupied by a friend's dad. i find this to be complete and utter bullshit and is frustrating the hell out of me. the worst part is that i know i am acting spoilled and like the biggest bitch ever, but i have been planning and think and wishing all fucking week for a time that i can get plastered and no give a fuck about next week's assignments or finals or anything. i have gotten myself worked up and an certainly more frustrated that is really necessary, but i don't care. i want a fucking drink. it does not help that my boyfriend is mocking me by asking if i will stay home and drink myself into oblivion if he goes to the desert himself. i am just really pissed. maybe i will stay home and drink all by myself. it would probably be better than hanging out with two girls thati don't really know- one if them is like 17. i am 5 years older than her... and 10 years down the road it might not be that big of a deal, but right now- there is a huge fucking difference between a 17 yo girl and a 22yo lady. fuck- who's to say i am a lady. anyway- this is not that big of a deal and i have become the biggest dramaqueen around.