Friday, September 22, 2006
Woe is me
there are so many things i have to be thankful for. i don't even want to begin to list them because that would take an enormous amount of time and i am feeling pretty down on myself.
while i love dan with all of my heart, there are something that i wish he were better about. the first and most important of all is money control. while i don't have all that much room to talk, i have yet to be sent to collections.
let me start by saying that i always wanted a man that could take care of me, knowing full well that i am and will be able to take care of myself no matter what. before dan and i started dating there was a mutual friend that was interested in me as well. nothing ever happened because i was a shy freshman, and a no-so-shy other freshman showed up only to snatch him. she almost took dan, but the other guy was not in a relationship at the time. then there was mutual friend two, he came a long right before dan and i were together. he admitted to my best friend while she was down visiting that he was interesting me almost a year after dan and i were together. while all of this doesn't really mean anything to anyone else- to me it means i missed out, and i hate saying that with all of my heart. both of these other men are set financially, they are practically engaged. one to a stranger. the other to my best friend who stole the good one.
i know i shouldn't be, but i am extremely jealous. i know this is childish and something i should work on. somehow i feel like i am stuck with the bad guy. the one who will never propose, who will enver have enough money or be able to manage what he does have. i could mention plenty of things that he is not or won't be, but again a waste of time. i guess i am just frustrated because i could have been either of those women who are set with a great relationship and a ring to boot. i? i am giving my bf money and the only ring i wear in on my thumb.
i know all of this is so stupid and i just need to get over it. nothing is any better hoping and dreaming right?
damn being human!
while i love dan with all of my heart, there are something that i wish he were better about. the first and most important of all is money control. while i don't have all that much room to talk, i have yet to be sent to collections.
let me start by saying that i always wanted a man that could take care of me, knowing full well that i am and will be able to take care of myself no matter what. before dan and i started dating there was a mutual friend that was interested in me as well. nothing ever happened because i was a shy freshman, and a no-so-shy other freshman showed up only to snatch him. she almost took dan, but the other guy was not in a relationship at the time. then there was mutual friend two, he came a long right before dan and i were together. he admitted to my best friend while she was down visiting that he was interesting me almost a year after dan and i were together. while all of this doesn't really mean anything to anyone else- to me it means i missed out, and i hate saying that with all of my heart. both of these other men are set financially, they are practically engaged. one to a stranger. the other to my best friend who stole the good one.
i know i shouldn't be, but i am extremely jealous. i know this is childish and something i should work on. somehow i feel like i am stuck with the bad guy. the one who will never propose, who will enver have enough money or be able to manage what he does have. i could mention plenty of things that he is not or won't be, but again a waste of time. i guess i am just frustrated because i could have been either of those women who are set with a great relationship and a ring to boot. i? i am giving my bf money and the only ring i wear in on my thumb.
i know all of this is so stupid and i just need to get over it. nothing is any better hoping and dreaming right?
damn being human!
// posted by Angela @ 10:33 PM 
